Adult jokes in English

Funny adult joke fifty year old couple

WINNER:A couple had been married for 50 years They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, 'Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.' 'I know,' the old man said.'We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago .''Well,' Granny snickered. 'Let's relive some old times.' Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. 'You know, honey,' the little old lady breathlessly replied, 'My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.' 'I'm not be surprised,' repliedGramps. 'One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal.'

Bill's urge to stick his penis in slicer

RUNNER UP:Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. 'What's wrong,Bill?' she asked. 'Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?' 'Oh, Bill, you didn't ' she exclaimed. 'Yes, I did.' he replied. 'My God, Bill, what happened?' 'I got fired.''No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle
slicer?' 'Oh... she got fired too.'

Short adult jokes:

Doctors advice to woman

Doctor: You look so weak, exhausted.. Are you taking 3 meals a day as I have advised to you?
Woman: Doctor, I thought you said 3 males a day.

Adult jokes on Bikni

Bikini is a dress where 90% of the woman body is exposed..
but men r very decent.
they dont look at that 90%
they look only at the covered 10%.

ADult joke: caught sleeping together
Boy1:Meet my wife Tina
Boy2.Oh! I know her
Boy1:How?
Boy2:v were caught sleeping together
Boy1:What the hell?
Boy2.during lecture in maths class

Think +ve:)

Funny husband and wife adult jokes in english

The Man Tells His Doctor That His Wife Hasn’t Wanted To Have Sex With Him For The Past 7 Months.

The Physician Tells The Man To Bring His Wife In So He Can Talk To Her.

When The Wife Comes To Office, The Doctor Asks Her Why Doesn’t She Want To Have Sex With Her Husband Any More.

The Wife Replies:

For The Last 7 Months, Every Morning I Take A Cab To Work.

I Don’t Make Much Money And My Husband Doesn’t Give More Than Bus Fare, So The Cab Driver Always Asks Me: “So Are You Going To Pay Today Or What?”

I Always Give Him An “Or What”.

That Makes Me Late To Work, I’m Late, So The Boss Asks Me: “So Are We Going To Dock Your Salary, Or What?”

That’s Another “Or What.”

On The Way Home, I Take The Cab And Again I Don’t Have Any Money So The Cab Driver Asks Me: “So Are You Going To Pay This Time Or What?”

And, Again, I Do An “Or What”

So You See, Doctor, When I Get Home I’m All Tired Out And I Don’t Want Sex Any More.

The Doctor Thinks For A Second. “So, Are We Going To Tell Your Husband Or What?“